


Dream For Me

by elusivelover_archivist



Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Drugs, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-31
Updated: 2014-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-05 16:11:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17328245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elusivelover_archivist/pseuds/elusivelover_archivist
Summary: By Z.P. FlorianDown and out as an Imperial reprobate on the Death Star, Han Solo finds himself enchanted by a young Rebel prisoner...





	Dream For Me

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Cara Loup, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Elusive Lover](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Elusive_Lover_\(Star_Wars_archive\)) and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Elusive Lover’s collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/ElusiveLover).

Pushing a floor polisher wasn’t the worst thing in the world, Han Solo told himself. After two years in the punishment camp, he was glad to be anywhere else, even if it was, as they called it, droid duty, the lowest kind of assignment anyone could get, still, the food was good, and if he behaved himself, in a couple of years he might even get back into regular service. Not that he had a bloody chance to fly again, he’d screwed that up real bad, getting himself court-martialed over some captive Wookiee ape that was killed anyways. He had cursed himself often enough for being such a sentimental idiot – why did he have to get all worked up over that hairy monster being whipped to death? If he hadn’t tried to stop his fellow officer from beating that Wookiee, he’d be the best assault pilot in the fleet by now.

Two years of detention camp was bad enough, but at least now he could get himself together, and no way would he ever step out of line again. He’d learned his lesson, and he had the marks of the binders on his wrists to remind him, in case he ever forgot. So what if they teased him for doing dirty work, washing up after the prisoners, cleaning their cells – he could live with that. At least he’d get used to seeing people tortured, that was the whole idea of being assigned to this battle station, giving him a chance to prove that he’d never again try take the side of some convict against the Empire. He’d do his job, eat well, get back in shape, take care of number one, and everybody else could go to hell. Sooner or later, his fellow workers would find someone else to tease, then he’d even make friends here, get invited to play cards, watch holos with them, have a few drinks, live like a normal person. In the meantime, he could wait. Now, the slightest infraction would earn him a one-way ticket back to the detention camp.

The whirring noise of the floor polisher was somewhat soothing, but as Han worked around the upper gallery, he noticed that something was happening below in the bay.

A freighter was tractored into the hangar, a beaten, patched bucket of bolts. Stormtroopers surrounded it, herding out the passengers. Han saw a dark-skinned pilot come out, hands raised, and an old man dressed in brown robes, followed by a young boy wearing some homespun shirt; both the old man and the boy had a cylindrical weapon hanging from their belt.

 _If I didn’t know better_ , Han thought, _I’d say those are lightsabers, but the Jedi were all killed, unless these two are the last ones still alive. Not for long now. Just yesterday, they executed some Princess of Alderaan here, after blowing up her entire home planet. No wonder they called this battle station the Death Star_.

As the prisoners were marched out of the bay, Han was startled to see a black-clad, armored giant coming to meet them. Lord Vader, the best and most feared commander in the entire Empire, the one they said had some links to the Jedi in the past. Sure enough, the Dark Lord himself had a lightsaber.

The prisoners were in binders, but the old man did something to free his hands and drew his saber. It was an impressive sight, the lightblade, Han thought. The Dark Lord answered the challenge and the blades clashed. The whole duel took less than a minute. The boy cried out when the old man fell. With that, the entertainment was over, the prisoners were taken to the detention block, and Han went back to polishing the floor.

 

Nothing much happened until the next morning, when Han received his orders for the upcoming duty shift. It was nothing special, clean up the new prisoner, who’d been subjected to the mind-probe at night and hadn’t regained consciousness since. The med-droid said he wasn’t ill, just had a bad reaction to the drugs. Han picked up the necessary equipment, sanitized cleaning pads and a small vacuum cleaner, a set of fresh clothes for the prisoner.

The cell was small, but well lit. The prisoner lay on the hard bunk, unmoving. His eyes were open, but Han didn’t think he was aware of anything. He still wore his homespun shirt, much too large on his body, now soiled with vomit.

Han washed the floor first, then started on the prisoner, undressing him. The boy didn’t react. Han disposed of the soiled clothes, sponged down the naked body. It was duty, nothing else. Just like cleaning the floor. It had been ages since he’d allowed himself to even think of sex. But now he suddenly couldn’t help it. This was a beautiful boy.

 _So what_ , Han thought, this was a dead boy, like all the others, like the girl, supposed to be a princess, now nothing but a handful of ash. And why worry about a single prisoner when the whole planet of Alderaan was gone, and nobody’d even said a word about it. This boy here was just another dead body. Except that he was still warm.

In another life, he’d give his right arm to have a boy like this. In another life, where he wouldn’t have gone to the academy... What a goddamned mistake that had been, he wasn’t cut out for military discipline. He should have remained where he belonged, in some dirty spaceport, make a living as a smuggler or a gambler, rent a little house, come home to find this boy waiting for him, wearing nothing but a shirt and a whisper of underwear...

Gods, but he was beautiful, short, but perfectly formed, with the kind of muscles one gets from hard work, sunkissed hair... the eyes, even as expressionless as they were now, so blue. Maybe there was a place, in another universe, where he did live in a dingy house with this boy, and this time, this place, this Death Star was just a nightmare he was having.

_What would we do when you come home to me? Would you make love to me or get a meal first?_

Han gasped. The question was unmistakably real. Yet the boy didn’t stir, didn’t speak.

_Talking inside my head? Jedi sorcery?_

_Please, keep thinking of it... I’d be in that room, waiting for you? What’d I do all day while you play cards? Just wait? I’d have to be very much in love with you to do that... how would you make me love you that much? Would you spoil me with sweet words? Make love to me so well that I could hardly wait to get you in bed again? Please, keep dreaming of it... I’m so afraid here... the drugs really make me ill, your dreams help me to be somewhere else... how many rooms in that little house? Don’t worry, no one can tell what you think... there’s something in that drug that lets me read minds... please, think of it again_.

Han didn’t want to think of it. Nothing good could come from having a half-conscious Jedi cub reading his mind. Then again, how could he not think of it, when he was sponging down this beautiful, motionless body, that he could very well imagine being a lot more responsive.

 _And if you think that you’re the only one trapped here, think again, I need to be somewhere else too_...

 _Then it’s even better... dream for me. I think they’re going to execute me soon, I know nothing useful to tell them, and if I did, I wouldn’t talk anyway. I got into this mess just yesterday, I don’t even understand what’s going on – something to do with the Rebellion – I didn’t even have a chance to do anything to deserve being captured. I wish I had, at least there’d be a reason for getting killed. Just a few days_.

 _Dream for me. You’d be a smuggler, a cardplayer? Those ports are dangerous, I know, there’s one on my planet... you’d probably have to fight for me... if it were real, you wouldn’t, I’d take care of myself... but dream... anything you want. In your thoughts, you can do anything to me... you have to dream for me, because I don’t know much about lovemaking, I’ve never done it yet... you’re the expert_...

The walls swayed around Han. _A virgin, gods in the stars, a beautiful, blond virgin boy, now isn’t that everyone’s dream? And he has to be here, waiting to be executed, while I’m wearing this damned uniform, as good as being chained_.

 _I’ll dream for you_ , he thought, _I’ll dream for both of us. And you’re just going to lie here ‘til they kill you?_

 _It’s better this way... they won’t bother me much... dream for me... dream good days, even years... show me the house where we live, show me the taverns... spoil me, pretend you’ve fallen in love with me, tell me where we met... it’s just play, it’s all right to be sappy about it... nobody will know_.

 _Where would we first meet_... Han was now scrubbing the floor where a few drops of blood dried on the smooth plastisteel.

 _You’d drive through the spacer’s quarters, stopping for a cold cup of something to drink... and in the tavern, some ugly fat guy would sidle up to you, making a pass, and perhaps you’d tell him to get lost, then I’d walk up to you and ask if I’d get the same answer... and you’d be a little startled, but not angry, and I’d sit down with you to talk a while, and I’d put my hand on your knee and inch up a little... and you’d be a bit skittish and pull away at first, but I’d be kinda insistent and eventually you’d get interested and I’d say, would you come home with me, and you’d say you have to go home, but I’d keep askin’ and we’d just walk home to that house I’m renting_...

_Where’s the house, is it far?_

_No, it’s just on the next street, a square little yellow building with a small inner yard, a kitchen and a room with an alcove for a big wide bed, and a really small sani with a wet shower. And as we walk there, I’d be really eager to have you, blessing my luck that you’re willing, really, why would you?_

_It’s a dream. In a dream, I can be bold and careless... but I’d be a little worried, wondering how it’s going to be... with a stranger..._

_I’d open the door and close it behind us, and I’d already start unbuckling my gunbelt and taking off my shirt, throwing everything down, littering the small room with clothes, and you’d do the same, so when we reach the bed, we’re both naked and ready, and I’m staring at you, because you’re really beautiful_.

_I can’t see you now... how do you look? Am I staring at you because you are beautiful?_

_I’m okay, I’m kinda tall, they say I’m good-looking. Why can’t you look at me?_

_I don’t know, I think I’m not really using my body now. So you’re good-looking and I’d be curious about your body, and a little shy about being naked... what do you do next?_

_I’d pull you down on the bed and kiss you real good, long – not too long, mind you, because I want you too much and don’t want much foreplay, and you’re ready too... so I’d just be in a rush to get inside you... but nicely, gently, I’m good, you know, and you’d be surprised how good it can be, it wouldn’t last very long, because we both were too eager, but it’d be really great, and you’d just lie there on the bed, catching your breath, your hair all tousled, and we’d laugh about how sudden it was_.

_Would I leave then? Or would I stay?_

_I’d ask you to stay, maybe for a couple of days, and you’d say you can’t, right then. You’d go away to get your things and come back the next day, and move right in. And my friends would drop by and tease me about my good luck to get my hands on such a gorgeous boy. I wouldn’t want to take you to the taverns, because I’d be afraid that there would be fights_...

_Come on, I’m not that beautiful... or am I?_

_You are that beautiful; besides, in that port, in those taverns, even half your looks would incite a riot. It’s my dream anyway, and I like this part, that I’d have to keep you hidden... I’d make some money and we’d move to a better place, another planet maybe, where there’s lots of blond boys with blue eyes, and I don’t have to fight that much to keep the guys away from you, and there we’ll live for long years... and even when we’re older, we’d be in bed all day, just having fun_.

_We’ll get old together?_

_Yeah, sure, because it’d turn out that not only can we have great sex, but we’re really compatible, you know – like to eat the same things, go to the same places, and you’d be very satisfied, you wouldn’t want to live with anyone else... Maybe once, this guy would really try to get you into bed, and you’d look at him and laugh, ‘cause his staff is so much smaller than mine, and you tell him that you’re used to something better_...

_That’s what I’d say? Is it?_

_Is what?_

_Yours... really large?_

_Well, yes, but that doesn’t matter, really, you have to know how to make love, size is not all there is_.

 _Wait, I have to put this coverall on you now, I can’t just stand here dreaming. You should try to get yourself together, your lips are very dry, you need water. I could get you a cup and just pretend that we’re in our house and you’re drinking Corelli brandy_.

 _Thank you, but it’s not important. I won’t be alive all that long_.

 _Don’t fucking say that! You don’t know what’s going to happen. What if the Rebels win tomorrow and you are freed? Don’t ever give up_.

_You did, you think you’ve lost everything. Because they’ll never allow you to be a pilot... So, why don’t you desert? Join the Alliance? That’s what I wanted to do, become a Rebel pilot... You like to fly?_

_I don’t like to fly. I love to fly. So maybe then we’re not living in a dingy port, but on a fine, large freighter that we pilot together... you want that?_

_Yes, that’d be even better than anything else. I’ve always wanted to see the galaxy. You’d show me the ports... I’m a good pilot, and I’m pretty good with repairs... What kind of ship are we going to have?_

_I don’t want any of those new fancy things. Something old, heavy, reliable, but very fast, like a modified freighter, with really good sensors and a hyperdrive_.

 _I came here on a ship like that. We hired it in Mos Eisley, it’s called the Millennium Falcon. The captain was a local smuggler – Lando, I think that was his name. I don’t know what happened to him after we were arrested_.

 _They sent him to the spice mines. The ship’s still in the bay, I’ve seen it_.

_What happened to you, what do they punish you for?_

_Long story. I was a pilot, made a wrong move at the wrong time, got court-martialed. I thought they’d kick me out, but all I got was two years in a detention camp, and now I’m here to serve a year. If I behave myself, I’ll get back to regular duties_.

 _So we’re going to have a ship and deliver stuff to all kinds of places? I’ve never been off Tatooine... just this once – and look where I ended up... I’m going to die here_.

 _Come on, don’t give up like this, kid, stall them, lie to them, give them some reason to keep you alive. Tell them you know a Rebel base somewhere, play for time. You might get lucky_.

 _You don’t believe that_.

_Now where does that make a difference? Anything’s better than to lie down and die. Fight, damn you! If you can think in my head, maybe you can think in the head of the duty officer and make him transfer you to the spice mines, even that beats dying. You’re a Jedi, right?_

_No. I could be one, I think, but I’d just learned about it when I got captured. The old man said my father was a Jedi knight. I’d need training. I can’t do any tricks_...

_So try, keep trying – if you try hard enough, it’ll happen. I know, that’s how luck runs with the cards. Come on, wake up, get up, eat, fight!_

_Interesting advice from someone who’s as resigned as you are_.

 _Resigned, my foot! I’m biding my time, I know when I’m helpless, I know when it’ll be time to move. Right now, I’ve got to play it right, gain a bit more freedom, a little more trust. Just wait ‘til someone leaves a door open, then you’ll see me go. You know, maybe I’ll really join the Rebels. Or just disappear in some port, change my ID, start over_...

_With a beautiful blond boy?_

_Hell, why not! You gonna be around by then? Huh? You might, if you don’t give up now, kid. Come on, move, I can’t stay here forever_.

Han shook the boy’s shoulder without saying a word, in case the cell was monitored. In the white prison coverall, the blond youth looked like a lost angel.

 _I’m scared... What if they’ll torture me_...

Han couldn’t say anything to that. He knew enough about tortured prisoners. Maybe the kid was worried that he’d spill something, or just sane enough to be afraid of being tied down while some professional sadist hurt him.

 _Still, even then, what does it matter? No need to lay down and die before you really have to. Look at it this way, kid, you’ve been arrested in the company of a Jedi, went through a mind probe, and you’re still alive. That Jedi, with all his sorcery, is dead. You made it ‘til now. Let’s see how many days you’ve got left. Now, move_.

Han was actually startled when the boy rose from the bunk. _Damn, but he’s graceful_. The blue eyes measured him.

 _You’re taller than I thought. You don’t look Imperial at all. Is there water here? I’m thirsty_.

Han opened the wall panel to reveal the waterspout and the sani.

 _I gotta go now. I’ll be back_.

 _Go, it’s all right. Thank you. I was such a coward, really. I feel better now_.

Han gathered the cleaning supplies and left, looking back once. The boy was at the waterspout, drinking thirstily, his blond hair falling into his eyes.

Sweet mother of Corell, they were going to kill him, turn this breathing, living boy into a silent, bruised corpse, like the others he helped dispose of daily. _Tomorrow, I might be zipping the bag over this one_ , Han thought. Terror and revulsion racked him, anger and hatred, and suddenly he understood what made meek farmers join the Rebellion.

Here he was, trapped on a gigantic space station, populated with about a million soldiers, without the slightest chance to do anything for himself or for this boy.

 _Damn, what am I thinking again, like the time I was speaking up for that hairy ape... and what did I get for it, two bloody years and a black mark on my record. What a fuckin’ sap I am, bleeding for this pretty kid here. Number one, Solo, think of number one_.

 

Han went through the rest of his day like a robot, the image of the boy leaning over the waterspout coming back to him over and over.

At night, in the cabin he shared with seven other soldiers, he couldn’t fall asleep for a long time, and when he did, he dreamed of flying a ship among the stars, free as the wind. It was around eleven the next morning when the voice spoke in his head again.

 _Dream for me, please, dream for me now_.

_Are they hurting you?_

_Dream for me, dream... think of good things_...

 _We’re on our ship now... it’s a smooth trip, we can just laze around in bed, eating fake grapes with sweetbread. You’re drinking bluemilk... naked, of course. I’m in a very silly mood, rolling grapes down your body, chasing them with my mouth, I make you laugh... You grab my hair and pull me closer for a long kiss. The bunk’s too narrow, it’s an acrobatic feat to make love on it_.

 _Don’t stop_.

 _You’re laughing so hard, you spill the milk all over me, and I go get a towel, you wipe me dry, then we’re getting sleepy, I lie down and you snuggle up beside me. It’s very warm, we don’t need any blankets. We can sleep as long as we want, and you wake up first, going to the galley to get some food. The noise wakes me up, and I sneak up behind you, grab you and pull you back on the bed, ‘cause I’m always in the mood when I wake up. You’re making a whole spiel about being hungry and try to push me away, not very seriously, just to tease me, and we end up making love again_.

_Can I keep up with you if you’re always in the mood?_

_Sure – you know, you’ve discovered that you’re unusually sensual, and keeping up with a Corellian is easy for you. I’m very happy about it, ‘cause most of the time it’s like I can’t find anyone who’d be as eager as I am all the time. I can’t get over it what a great match we are... I keep telling you that you’re a rare treasure for me_.

_What do I tell you?_

_Well, you tell me often enough that you’re real glad you got together with me – and once, when you get a little tipsy, you tell me that you’re falling in love with me... and I... I kinda get worried because I feel the same way, an’ it’s getting serious, maybe too serious for me, I’m not used to it... But after a while, I think, what the hell, it’s all right, and I relax and enjoy it_.

_Men don’t talk about love to each other, huh?_

_Not really, no. See, it’s enough to know it... and you’ll know, because no matter where we go and whoever makes passes at me, I wouldn’t even touch them._

_If anyone tried to make a pass at me, what’d you do?_

_I’d probably tell them to get lost, and if they didn’t, there’d be a fight_.

_Isn’t it a sissy thing that I just stand there and let you fight?_

_Hell, if you want, you can beat them up yourself, I won’t spoil your fun_.

Han was torn from his dreams by the shouting of one of the sergeants.

“What do you think you’re doing, loafing around, get to work!”

Han had been so far away he hadn’t realized he was just standing in the corridor, doing nothing. He grabbed his cleaning supplies and got busy, trying to work and find his way back to the boy’s mind. There was no contact. He looked into the cell, but it was empty.

 _They’re hurting him, torturing him somewhere_ , he thought, trying to stay calm. There was nothing he could do, nothing at all, he himself was little better than a prisoner. Nothing... nothing to do. Just stand by and watch while they destroyed this kid... But what was the difference, this boy or another? As long as he was here, he’d watch dozens, hundreds being tortured and killed. And if he’d been a pilot, he’d kill thousands with bombing runs...

“Solo, get your ass to 747, pronto. There’s cleaning to do.”

He went, dreading the possibility that he’d find the boy there, but it was nothing more than an officer spilling some juice on his desk.

It was much later when Han was ordered to enter the boy’s cell. The kid seemed unhurt, not even bruised, but he’d vomited again, and he looked thoroughly drugged.

 _Hi... nice of you to come... I’m fine... this is a lovely drug they gave me... I feel so happy... I’m sorry to make you clean this... I can’t help it, it’s no good for my stomach, but it makes me feel really good. Nothing hurts_...

_Did they hurt you?_

_Yes, but there’s no damage... they used some ray thing on me, it really hurt, but now they’re sure I know nothing, and I really don’t, ‘cause when we were about to be captured, the old Jedi made me forget what he’d told me about the Rebel base. But they said they’ll hand me over to Darth Vader and he’s going to make me tell them everything, one way or another... He’s the one who betrayed and murdered my father... and I think he’s going to kill me_.

_I’m getting this drug so I can’t use the Force... but instead of cutting me off from the Force, it makes me stronger in it. I could never read minds before. But I can’t keep any food down. Do you know when Darth Vader’s going to come back?_

_I have no idea – I didn’t even know he’d left. Let me undress you, I brought a clean coverall. Kid, I’m so sorry_...

 _I’d like... if you’d make love to me for real... before they kill me_.

 _You’re too weak for that_...

_Doesn’t matter... I just don’t want to die without ever having made love. Would you get into trouble for doing it with a prisoner?_

_I don’t think anybody would care_.

 _Then do it. Do it now. I don’t mind if it hurts... I’m probably too drugged to feel anything... but I want it_...

Han had never felt worse in his life. There was a wrongness to this, a feeling of outrage that he’d touch this boy now, when he was asking for it out of fear, preparing to die, sick, drugged, unable to respond...

 _You don’t understand... I’d feel your pleasure... just as if it were mine... Don’t feel bad about it... You’d like to help me, and this way, you really can. You want me to die without ever making love? Besides, I know that five of the guards are going to come in tonight and they’re going to rape me. I don’t want them to be the first_.

Han dug his nails into his palms. _I’ll see what I can do about that. Who are they?_

_I don’t know, I just sensed their thoughts. Does it hurt a lot to be raped?_

_Yes_ , Han thought, _and if it happens, don’t fight them, don’t make it too interesting for them, they’ll leave you alone a lot sooner if you just lie there_.

He felt horrible. He’d stopped a fellow officer who’d been whipping an ape, and now he was going to stand by while this kid was raped? But what the hell else could he do? And how was he supposed to live with the idea that he couldn’t do a thing?

 _Don’t torment yourself, please. I can play dead again, and then I won’t even feel a thing. Just make love to me now_.

 _I can’t, the cells are monitored_.

 _So what – those other guards don’t care_.

Han sat down beside the boy and put his arms around him. The slender body felt hot, Han could feel the rapid heartbeat. _The drug is doing this to him_ , he thought.

The door slid open. “Having a little fun, eh, Solo? So sorry, you’ll have to let him go, we’re taking him to Central. Get lost.”

Han stood up and gathered his supplies. Two guards helped the boy to his feet and led him away.

 _Next time_ , he whispered.

 _Next time_ , Han cursed, _there’ll be no damned next time! What can I do, what the hell can I do? They’ll test him, they’ll know he’s Jedi, they’ll give him to Lord Vader, who, as we all know, has already eliminated every Jedi he could catch. The kid’s dead, period. He’d be lucky if he’s killed before all those fine officers rape him. Depends on when Vader comes back_.

 _I’ll be damned, but there must be something I can do! Come on, Solo, you’re supposed to be smart, there has to be a way to outwit these assholes_.

Pushing his supply cart, Han went down to the security area, looking at the comm panels. He’d have given his right arm for an idea. That ship, that freighter in the bay, he could probably fly it; if he could preset the coordinates for a hyperspace jump, he could be in hyper before the tractor beam was even engaged. For that, he’d have to get into the ship now and somehow smuggle the kid out of the cell and into the ship later. _Think, you bastard, there has to be a way, step by step_.

Hell, nobody ever stopped a man who was pushing a floor polisher. He could get right above the bay in ten minutes and take a look at the freighter. Fabricate some excuse to get in there. Why would anyone want him to clean that freighter inside? _Think, think fast_. He grinned. After years of numb resignation, his brain shifted gears. _I used to be good at this, joining the military really put the rot in my brains_.

He picked up the floor polisher and some other cleaning machinery at the supply locker and worked his way down the long hallways. Nobody so much as looked at him. The freighter was in the bay, a battered ship, but a good model in fair condition. A single stormtrooper guarded it. Han rolled the cleaning machines up to the lowered ramp.

“I’m going up there to clean up,” he said.

“Why?” the trooper asked, curious rather than suspicious.

“They didn’t tell me much about it,” Han answered. “I think they’re going to use this bucket of bolts to try infiltrate some Rebel base. I guess those secret agents of ours don’t want a grimy ship. Afraid to get their boots dirty.”

The trooper chuckled.

Han went up the ramp and that was it. The ship was all right, he thought, it could use some special modifications, but it’d do.

He let the cleaning machines roll. Their steady roar covered whatever other noises he made while he preset the coordinates for a hyperspace jump to the worst place he could think of, some godsforsaken Rimworld planet that every sane person would avoid. He’d need less than forty seconds to make the jump, once the ship had left the bay.

Going out, he told the trooper that he’d be back later with different supplies to clean off the grease from the galley. He hadn’t felt this good in ages. _The kid was right, I was really resigned_ , he admitted.

Next, he was polishing his way back to detention. Now to deactivate the monitors. One step at a time, the jump was set, now what to do about the damned monitors? He needed at least three minutes for what he’d planned to do in the boy’s cell. Han put away the floor polisher, got his cleaning cart with the regular supplies and went back to the security area where the controls for the monitors were. He cleaned the panels casually, whistling softly.

“Enjoying your job, Solo?” the commanding officer taunted him.

Han didn’t answer. As he reached across a slanted panel, he knocked over his can of cleaning fluid. It spread rapidly over the controls, seeping inside. He heard the angry hiss of several short circuits with satisfaction.

“You clumsy idiot!” the officer shrieked. “Get the hell out of my sight! I need a repair team, on the double, now!”

Han disappeared as fast as he could, taking his supply cart with him.

 _Pray that the boy’s back in his cell_.

He was lucky. The kid was back, though not in a very good shape. He was shaking violently, his body hotter than before.

_I couldn’t reach you... where have you been?_

_Doesn’t matter. We’re leaving, now_.

Han opened the panel in the wall to reveal the waterspout and stuffed his cleaning supplies in there. His cart was now empty.

 _Get in there, kid. And stay very, very quiet. We’re going on a little trip, just the two of us_.

 _This is the nicest dream you’ve ever dreamed for me. We’ll dream that we’re escaping? Very good... keep it up, thanks... You know, I’ve been officially declared a Jedi, they checked my genes... So funny... it’s warm in here... I’m fine now, this is a really nice day... they didn’t even hurt me... see, when they’re coming to rape me, I won’t get hurt. Nothing can hurt me... I feel so happy_...

_Just stay quiet!_

_Good heavens_ , Han thought, _they’ve drugged him with godsknow what_. He had to struggle to get the boy inside the cart, the kid could barely stand up.

 _Just curl up in there and keep very quiet, no matter what happens_.

 _I’ll throw up. I don’t feel good anymore. I’m cold_...

 _Hush, kid, you gotta keep quiet. Just for a little while_.

 _Dream for me_.

Han gritted his teeth. He was about to pull off his greatest and craziest scam – nothing was more impossible than dreaming of peaceful hours. He was filled with dread. He closed the panel over the sink, hiding his supplies, and started to push the cart down the hallway. He saw the repair crew working on the shorted-out panel. Good, it would be a while before they could check on the cells. _I’m doing good here, in a few minutes, we could be free_.

Yet it was an unreal feeling, to wheel his cart down the corridors now. There was no sign of life from the kid, no more pleas for dreams. _Just a few minutes, a few minutes, this will work, this has got to work_ , Han repeated to himself. _I’m just going down to the bay to clean that ship, nobody ever stopped a man wheeling cleaning supplies_.

The trooper greeted him with a casual nod as he pushed the cart up the ramp. _I have time_ , Han told himself. He helped the boy out, the kid was near passing out, alternating between giggles and dry heaves. Han put him on the medical bunk in the ship’s lounge, belting him down securely. _Now. Engage the engines, pull up the ramp. That they’ll notice. Fast, Solo, fast, and pray the ship’s guns will blast the magnetic field open, if not, this’ll be the stupidest way to die_.

Forty seconds. Forty seconds. As soon as the engines started, alarms went off in the bay. Han turned the ship around. It was responding beautifully. _Baby, I love you_ , he told the freighter, _get us outta here and I’ll love you forever_.

The ship had impressive weapons arrays, and its guns broke the magnetic field easily. It would have been impossible to create the same effect from outside, but bays were not that well defended against vehicles going out.

Han was trembling, counting down the forty seconds while shots were fired after him, but as soon as he was out, his fingers closed on the lightspeed lever, and he waited, swallowing hard. He pulled the lever and the ship shot into hyperspace, the stars rushing by.

 _It’s done_ , Han thought. _I’m out of there. A defector and a Jedi. There won’t be a hole in the Galaxy where we can be safe, ever_. But he didn’t care. _Hey, what’s the use of getting scared now?_ He set the helm controls on autopilot. _What a great ship, wouldn’t it be nice to keep her? No way, they’re going to look for this ship in every port_. Han went to check on the boy.

The kid slept, his body a bit less feverish, the skin dark and taut under his eyes. Han thought that his mouth was dangerously dry, the boy was probably extremely dehydrated. He tried to shake him awake gently, giving him water to drink, a little sip at a time, though most of it just ran down his throat. Finally, Han had to give him water from his own mouth. It was the most intimate touch he’d ever felt.

 _What if we won’t even like each other under normal circumstances?_ he wondered. _Nah, no way. But where to go, where to settle down? A Jedi, would the kid want to do something about that? Better not, best to lay low, disappear in the shadowy underworld of some cheap port_. Yalda, the port they were heading to, would do fine. No self-respecting spacer would go there. Han grinned. There was the small matter of not having a landing permit, or even a pilot’s license, let alone any valid papers for himself or the kid.

 _I don’t even know his name_ , Han thought, startled, watching the tired face framed by golden strands of hair. _Gods, but he’s beautiful. I’m going to have to break a few heads for him, no question about it. And he’ll need a medic. How long before the damned drug clears out of his system? I’ve never even seen him when he wasn’t drugged to the gills_.

Han went to the captain’s cabin, stripping off his Imperial uniform he’d been so proud to put on an eternity ago. Now, taking it off, shirt and all, made him feel wonderful. In the wall cabinet, he found a plain white shirt that he put on, leaving it open to the waist. _No more stiff collars for me_ , he thought.

A small noise alarmed him, and he ran to see how the boy was doing.

“Where am I? Ben, I must have dozed off. How long ‘til we get to Alderaan?”

Han was startled by the sound of his voice. This was the first time he’d heard the boy talk. And clearly, he didn’t remember a thing. Now what?

“Kid, I think you’ve lost a couple of days. Try to remember. Do you remember me?”

The boy struggled to get up, swaying weakly. “Who are you? Where am I? Where’s Kenobi?”

“We can talk about it later. Think you could eat something? You’ve had no food for a good while.”

“Could I eat something? I could eat a whole bantha. Gods, there’s a hole in my stomach.”

“Hang on, I’ll bring you something. A soup first, take it easy.”

Han returned in minutes with a deep bowl of soup. The boy demolished the soup in seconds.

“Thank you,” he said. “I’m Luke Skywalker.”

“Han Solo. You really have no idea what happened, huh?” Han wasn’t happy about it. Pity the boy had forgotten their dreams... _Maybe he’ll remember later_ , Han told himself. _He’s not thinking in my head anymore. He was mine, all mine while he was in my head, I don’t want to lose him now_.

“So tell me,” Luke said. “And I could use another bowl of this soup.”

Han went for more soup and started to explain things while the boy ate. “Now listen, you were captured by the Imperials. Alderaan was blown up, destroyed. I don’t know who Kenobi or Ben is, but the old man you’ve traveled with was killed, and the dark guy who piloted the ship’s in the Kessel spice mines by now. You spent a couple of days in Imperial detention, they drugged you, perhaps that’s why you don’t remember.”

“So where am I now?” Luke asked between spoonfuls of soup.

“Aboard the Millennium Falcon.”

“The Imps let me go?”

“No, I smuggled you out in a cart of cleaning supplies and broke the ship out.”

“Why?”

“Let’s just say I wanted to get away from there and I thought I could take you as well.”

“Why?” Luke repeated.

Han wasn’t sure how to answer – what if the kid thought this was some kind of Imperial setup to make him give up his secrets? “Uh... while you were on those drugs, you kinda... made friends with me.”

Suspicion darkened the blue eye as Luke measured the stranger standing in front of him, in military pants and a loose white shirt. _He must be glad to be out of his uniform_ , was the first thing that he thought, without having any idea why. “And just how did we make friends?”

“It doesn’t matter now,” Han said. It was a lie and he knew it. “Just that I felt very sorry for you.”

“Come on, there’s more than that. Speak up.”

Han shrugged, thinking that he had nothing to lose anyway. “Well, you were drugged and... hell, you asked me to make love to you, so you won’t die a virgin.”

“You made love to me?”

“No, but we came pretty close to it.” Han studied the boy’s face, full of surprise and doubt. “And I wasn’t exactly averse to it, you know.”

“You brought me with you because of that?”

“I guess so.” Han shrugged. “We kinda... agreed that... well, you are Jedi, and you were telepathically communicating with me there...”

“I can’t do that,” Luke said.

“Yes, with that drug they gave you, you could, you said you could really feel the Force – not that I used to give much credit to this kind of crap, but when I feel it in my own head, I gotta admit there’s something to it. It was like all that I thought of really happened.”

“What drug?”

“Something they gave you to cut you off from the Force, and it had the opposite effect. Probably verdex, in large doses. It made you throw up.”

“And I read your mind?”

“And how!” Han grinned. “It was like we’d known each other forever.”

“Do you think I could get some of that stuff and try again?”

“It made you sick as a dog, so I wouldn’t try it if I were you.”

“Where are we going?”

“Yalda. Ugly place, but we’ll be fairly safe there. Perhaps your memory will return and we can finish what we started.” Han was beginning to hope.

“You mean the sex part of it?”

“I hope it’s not against your religion. We can get fake papers, settle down.”

“I don’t really have a religion, church wasn’t all that big out where I lived.” Luke shook his head. “But I can’t just forget about what I was supposed to do. I have to get those droids back and deliver them to the Rebels.”

Han nearly fell down. “Forget it, kid, those droids’ve already been sucked dry for every info they had, and their memories’ve been erased, that’s standard procedure. Hell, what’re you thinkin’ – that you can just go back to the Death Star and, what, ask them to please give back your droids? It was a miracle to escape once, there’s no way you could do it again.”

“Are you sure about that? Because those droids had some knowledge that was vital for the Rebellion. That was their only hope.”

Han thought that the boy had had an overdose of heroism somewhere along the way to the Death Star. Perhaps that old Jedi had hypnotized him. “I can’t imagine that they’d leave a single digit of info in those droids. They’ve got the technology to retrieve everything. Give up on the droids, kid. And why are you so hell-bent on going to the Rebels anyway?”

Luke’s blue eyes were bright with anger. “My father was a Jedi knight, betrayed and murdered by Darth Vader.”

“Yeah, you thought of that before. How do you know?”

“Kenobi, the old Jedi, told me.”

Han scratched his head. “Murdered I can believe. Vader kills people like I change my underwear. Betrayed... that’s harder to imagine. The Dark Lord isn’t the betraying kind. If he doesn’t like your face, he steps on it. But he’s – at least that’s what we heard – the old-fashioned kind of nobleman, the kind who’s very keen on honor. You sure that old Jedi didn’t try to recruit you with some fairytale?”

Luke thought about it for a while. After all, he didn’t know much about the old man. If he was such a great Jedi, why had he been hiding out in the Jundland Wastes instead of fighting with the Rebels? “I don’t know. Get me some of that drug and I’ll try to find out. Can I have more soup?”

Han filled up the bowl again. “Eat. We’re not safe yet, you know. I bet they’re chasing after us. The ship needs a fake registration, and so do we. It’ll take a few days, but I’ll get some ID chips for us, find some work. A comfy little room in a half-decent district.”

Luke started on the next bowl of soup. There was something about that little room Han had mentioned – as if it had been his home. “Will you get me that drug? I’d like to remember what we had, if as you said, we made friends.”

“Yeah, but you’ll be careful with it, huh?”

“I’ll have you watching me, so I won’t have to worry.” Luke was teasing. Even if he didn’t remember being friends, or imagined lovers, there was a warm feeling inside him, a closeness.

“We’re coming up on Yalda,” Han announced. “We’re going to land somewhere quiet.”

* * *

The place Han picked for landing was a flat plain by a lake, near a small settlement. He set the ship down very smoothly. Their arrival didn’t seem to register with any authority. Nobody hailed the ship. Han began a systematic examination of every locker, every container, every drawer, every inch of cargo space. Luke followed him curiously.

“Boy, we’re rich!” Han announced. “What did you say his name was? Lando? There’s a wardrobe fit for a king in the captain’s cabin, three pair of boots worth at least seven hundred credits each, more clothes than you can imagine, a genuine truemetal bladeproof vest, in itself worth five thousand. Come, pick some clothing for yourself, the rest I’m going to barter away. We need two ID chips, a fake register for the ship, guns – we need some ten thousand to start off. They confiscated all the weapons, but not the cargo. There’s a load of beads in packages of two dozen. Not much, but if I can find out where they sell best, it’s money.”

Han was amazed how fast he returned to his pre-academy ways. _All this Imperial training and indoctrination just melted off me, he thought. Once a Corellian, always a Corellian, nothing’s as important as the promise of a warm body_. He was incredibly excited, running around, climbing up and down ladders in a mad treasure hunt.

In the meantime, Luke gathered the most nondescript garments from the captain’s cabin. Even those were silky, velvety, colorful pieces, and he worried a little about wearing them.

Han returned to see how he was doing. “Don’t even dream about wearing those. Pick black or red. Leather, not silk. Leather’s better in a fight, or wear that vest, it can save your life.”

“I don’t want to look like a thug.”

“Yeah? And what do you wanna look like, a mild-mannered virgin? In ports like this one, you can prevent a fight looking sufficiently dangerous. At least those who’re after a weak victim won’t attack you. Watch me.” Han selected a few pieces from the unfortunate captain’s wardrobe.

Luke couldn’t help staring at him. What the Imperial uniform hadn’t revealed was a lean, hard body, now dressed entirely in black. Tight leather pants, tall boots, a black shirt and a jacket that was a little too snug on his shoulders. If he’d seen Han like this the first time, he wouldn’t have wanted to stay on the same side of the street with him. And Han wasn’t even armed.

“I’ll be back, there’s still a few places I haven’t seen. Dress up. Don’t wear the vest next to your skin, take an undershirt. Pick one set to wear, one to clean, and we’ll be done with it.” Han was off again, his borrowed boots beating a merry rhythm on the deckplates.

Luke finally managed to find a pair of pants that fit snugly on his slender waist. They were dark blue, studded with reflecting beads. He found a black undershirt and tried the silvery mesh over it. A wide belt with a studded buckle, short boots, very comfortable, made of some kind of synthleather that molded his feet like a glove. He looked at his reflection in the mirror and didn’t believe his eyes. The young man looking back at him had the odd quality of a fallen angel, one that had fallen from a great height and landed hard. _Never thought clothes meant so much_ , he sighed.

Next, Han’s triumphant yell echoed off the ships’ walls.

“What did you find?” Luke asked.

“Those aren’t beads!” Han shouted. “Under the packages, there’s a large, I mean, large quantity of Kessel brandy. I think we’ll have the ten thousand we need right now. First I gotta get some kind of weapon for us, like a blaster.”

“I had a lightsaber,” Luke said too quietly for Han to hear. It was odd how his life kept changing. He’d had a day with Kenobi, dreaming about becoming a Jedi knight, avenging his father, fighting with the Rebels, he’d spent several days in a prison cell, preparing to die, and now he was standing here dressed like some rich young criminal. Well, he was on his way to become a rich young criminal, if Han had his way. But perhaps a young criminal with a devoted lover.

 _One romantic insanity after another_ , Luke thought, but he was young and resilient, too resilient to allow any worry to take hold for too long. After all, he was alive, and that was a miracle in itself. Besides, wasn’t this what he’d always wanted – get off the farm, see the world, have adventures? To have someone to share good times with, a friend. He didn’t remember much of what Han said they’d had, but he experienced short flashes of memories – of a small room, a bed they shared, and laughter.

Han came up from the cargo hold with a painted gourd. “These are worth a hundred credits per libat. Come, now we’re going to trade. That Imperial uniform of mine should fetch at least five hundred. The ship’s full of food supplies, so we don’t need to buy edibles for a long time, and we don’t need shelter either, we can live in the Falcon for a while.”

“You think they won’t find the ship?”

“Not for a week or so, and by then this baby’ll have a fine fake registration.” Han grinned. “Come on, kid, we have work to do. Unless you’re tired. Would you rather stay here and rest?”

“No,” Luke protested. “This is the first planet I’ll see.”

“I wish I could start off in a better place with you, this is a stinking port. Kid, you look like a lost prince.” Han put his arm around the boy. “Let’s pack up and go, there’s a fine little loadlifter in the hold. We can even ride it to the settlement. Better if you don’t walk, I think you’re still weak.”

 

Two hours of slow progress brought the heavily loaded floater to a trading post. There were no guards or security, and Han concluded that it was probably an illegal operation. Armed males of various races were sitting around on crates and sacks. Han approached them with his arms spread. “Peace,” he said. “I’m coming to trade.”

They were interested. Names were exchanged all around. Han introduced himself as ‘Adreel Solvanest’ and Luke as ‘Han Solvanest.’

“You’re kin?” one of the men asked.

“Yes, in bond.”

“Show us what you have.”

To Luke’s surprise, Han only traded beads, some of the clothing, one gourd of the brandy and nothing else. Most of their time was spent with conversation about the nearest town and other traders.

Finally, night had fallen and Han decided to sleep outside the trading post. The weather was mild. He spread the clothes out on the floater and lay down, drawing the boy close to him, covering both of them with a blue wool cape. “It was a good day, we can trade the rest of the stuff in town for good money,” he said. “You all right, kid?”

“Tired,” Luke admitted.

“I’d like to show you to a medic. You don’t look healthy.”

“I don’t feel healthy.”

Han didn’t fall asleep for a long time. He was worried about the boy, but when at last he heard him breathe evenly, he relaxed enough to sleep.

* * *

In the morning, they returned to the ship. Han thought the boy looked rested. “How’re you feeling?”

“Hungry. And much better,” Luke said. “Show me how to work this food synth.”

“Simple. Just pick any food you want and it’ll make it. It has a nutrimix that can be molded into almost anything.” Han enjoyed instructing the kid, gratified by the pleased expression on Luke’s face. _Soon_ , he told himself. _I’ll take him to bed as soon as we have the IDs and the registration, and some money to play with. Safety first_. He knew that the Imperials were looking for them, and until the Falcon had learned to respond under a different code, they weren’t safe.

“We’re going to town,” he announced when Luke finished playing with the food synth that rewarded him with a fair simulation of a large piece of fried meat.

“It tastes like the real thing,” Luke said happily.

“It should, this is a classy synth.” Han grinned. He was also eating. His choice was a large bread stuffed with yellow cream.

 

Yalda port was a huge city, still wearing the marks of a recent war. Entire districts lay in ruins.

“Excellent,” Han said. “They’ll need everything I have.”

With the information gained at the trading post, Han headed towards a seedy tavern.

“This is like the cantina in Mos Eisley,” Luke whispered.

“What the hell is Mos Eisley?”

“The spaceport on the planet I’m coming from.”

“Now listen, kid, stay close to me, don’t talk to anyone, never show surprise, never raise your voice, keep your head up. Don’t look anyone in the eye for too long. It’s been a while since I was at home in places like this, but I hope I haven’t lost my edge.”

It had been nearly ten years since Han had joined the fleet, and he’d spent half of those years regretting it.

Luke watched Han all day. The Corellian drove a hard bargain, but behaved friendly and by the looks of it made a good impression on all kinds of lowlife. The first thing he traded for was a blaster with some minor malfunction. Luke supposed that Han was probably able to repair it.

Later, they were escorted to another place where a half-meter tall reptilian produced an ID chip for both of them. The price, Luke thought, was exorbitant. Han didn’t think so, that was obvious. He also bought a disk that would change the ship’s registration. From there, they walked to another district that was somewhat less shabby.

“You wanna have dinner here?” Han asked in front of a tavern.

“Sure, but I think it’s lunch.”

The place was semi-dark and very crowded. Luke thought he’d visited a tavern like this before with Han, although he knew he hadn’t, unless in their dreams. He noticed how Han was watching everybody, keeping very close to him. _He thinks they’re all out to get me_ , he thought.

As they sat there eating, the bartender leaned closer to them and asked if Luke was working.

“No,” Han said with murder in his eyes. “Why?”

“Those gentlebeings at the corner table are interested.”

Han shrugged. “Too bad. Tell them he’s not working.”

The bartender left and Luke glanced at the corner table where two more or less human males were sitting, at least he thought they were human.

“Don’t look at them,” Han growled.

“What did he mean, am I working?”

“He was asking if you’re a prostitute. Don’t look at them, they’ll think you’re interested.”

“Do I look like a prostitute?”

“No, but they’re entitled to hope you’re one.”

As they left, the pair of humanoids followed them outside.

“You any good in a fight?” Han whispered.

“I guess so,” Luke said. “You think they’re going to try something?”

“Well, I don’t think they’re coming after us for the fun of it. Just keep walking, they might give up, you know.”

“I thought you were worrying about this needlessly.“

“I never worry needlessly. I’m not that kind.” Han would have felt better with a working blaster. Now all he had was a knife in his boot, and Luke was unarmed.

“You’re new around here?” Luke heard one of the humanoids ask.

“We’re just passing through,” Han answered.

“Well, I just want you to know that you can’t have a working boy around here without giving us a percentage. This is our territory, period.”

“No problem, we’ll be off in a couple of days, and he’s not working in any case. He’s mine, and I don’t need him working,” Han said casually, with his arm around Luke’s waist.

The two humanoids nodded and left.

Luke found himself slightly disappointed. _Was I really hoping for a fight_ , he wondered, _to show Han that I can take care of myself? Nonsense, we might get injured or something_. Yet Luke couldn’t help wishing to get into some kind of brawl... Why? To fight with Han at his side, to feel invincible together? That was how he felt now – invincible.

Han laughed, looking at his face. “You wouldn’t need much of an excuse to hit someone right now. I think you got yourself in a fine fighting mood. There’ll be time for that. You sure you want that verdex? We could settle down here and you could have a fight every day.”

“Yes, I’m sure,” Luke said firmly. “I’ve probably seen too many holos about the romantic life of the criminal element. Ever seen the holo about the Rimworld pirate who saved the life of the king’s son? They fell in love, and the king had the pirate executed, and then he found his own son dead, because he’d killed himself on the grave of that pirate. This kind of thing can really get to you when you’re living on a farm in the middle of nowhere. Makes you wish someone would love you that much. You know what I mean?”

Han slapped him lightly. “No. I never took those things seriously. Perhaps I should have. I’d have been more prepared to go completely nuts over you. Let’s go, that dealer we’re looking for’s just a couple of blocks away.”

Han talked to a very elegantly dressed man there. Luke heard them mentioning verdex.

“What the hell you need verdex for?” the man inquired.

“My boy likes it,” Han answered.

“Never heard of anyone taking that for fun.”

“So?” Han shrugged. “Look at him, a boy like this can have any kinds of habits and do I care? Isn’t he a prize?”

“Sure, and he could have all the drugs he needs if he’d stay with me.” The man smiled at Luke. “I’m richer and more handsome than your man, sugar.”

Luke didn’t know what to say until he suddenly remembered something. With a gesture toward Han he said, “He’s special.”

“What do you mean by that?” the man asked.

Han reacted instantly, glad that the kid remembered that part of their imagined life. “He means my... oh, size.”

“Well, we can’t argue with that.” The man nodded. “So, four packages of verdex in exchange for ten gourds of brandy. That’d be forty packages of verdex if the boy would be nice to me. Just one hour.”

“No deal,” Han said. “I’m kinda possessive about him.”

“As you wish. You can change your mind any time. I’ll be here.”

Walking away, Luke couldn’t get over the offer. “Am I really such a prize?”

Han faced him, smiling. “Yes, you are.”

He had to kiss the boy then, it was the right moment, and the innocently clumsy response pleased Han no end. _He’s mine, only mine, and no one else will ever touch him_. The feeling was stronger than anything he’d ever felt, an overwhelming and very aggressive pleasure, knowing that Luke was his. _Tonight_ , he decided, _tonight, I’ll take him_. But that was not what Luke had in mind.

As soon as they were back in the Falcon, he said, “I’ll try that verdex. You can work on the ship’s ID in the meantime.”

Han was disappointed, although he knew it was better this way. The sooner he had the Falcon’s ID changed, the safer they were. So he went to work with the disk and was soon fully absorbed in his work.

Luke locked himself into the cabin and unwrapped the drug. It came with an injector. The shot was painless, and the drug worked instantly. Luke felt as if he’d been blind before. The world opened up for him like a thousand windows. The Force swirled and trembled around him.

 _Young Luke, I must talk to you_ , said Ben Kenobi who suddenly stood in the cabin.

“But you died!” Luke exclaimed.

 _Luke, you must go to the Dagobah system_ , Ben insisted. _There you’ll find Yoda, the Jedi Master who instructed me. He will complete your training. He’ll also free you from the mental block that keeps your abilities hidden, and he’ll help you remember the location of the Rebel base. I knew Vader was on the Death Star, and my death was inevitable. Your true abilities had to remain hidden. Secured with the mental block, no one could determine the extent of your powers. But now only a Jedi Master can free you. Yoda will take care of that. This is why the verdex has such a strange effect on you. Once free of the block, you will feel the Force naturally, like any Jedi. You are the only hope of the Rebellion. Go to Dagobah. When your training is complete, you’ll join the Rebels. With your help, they’ll restore the Republic and bring peace to the Galaxy_.

Kenobi vanished, leaving Luke breathless and elated. His excitement didn’t last long, and the violent nausea brought on by the verdex made him run for the sani.

Han was there in a second. “You sick, kid?”

Luke was grateful for his gentle help. It took him almost an hour to recover, a lot less than on the Death Star. Luke guessed that this shot of verdex had been diluted or came in a lesser dose than what the Imperials had given him.

“The new ID’s fixed,” Han reported happily. “You okay now?”

“Yes, and I don’t think I’ll need any more of this poison. I’m going to Dagobah.”

“You’re going where?”

“Dagobah. There’s a Jedi Master who’ll train me. Then I’ll join the Rebellion.”

“You’ve lost your mind!” Han gasped. “We’re safe, we’ve got credits, we have a ship, we could have a life, a good life, and you want to fight for a lost cause? No one can stand up against the Imperial army. You have no idea what kind of firepower they’ve got. The Death Star blew Alderaan to bits, and you think it’ll make a difference if you have Jedi training or not? The Jedi knights were famous, but nobody said they were gods. Please, think, damn it, I want to make love to you, and you wanted it too, now what, you’re going to leave me?”

“Han, I have to. Come with me. The Rebels could use your inside knowledge and your talents as well.”

“No way, brother, I’m not gonna get myself killed,” Han growled.

“Then we’ll part,” Luke said. His voice left no room for questions. “But if you wish, we can spend this night together.”

“Fine.” Han nodded. “I doubt you’ll still want to leave in the morning.”

Luke smiled. “If I were half as confident as you are, I’d say you’ll want to come with me in the morning.”

 

The bed was narrow. Luke sat on it nervously, not knowing what to do. Han wasn’t shy at all. He undressed immediately, then proceeded to take off every piece of Luke’s clothing.

“Much better,” he said. “Scared?”

Luke nodded.

“Easy, kid, easy. I have a friend here, I’m sure.” Han grinned, reaching out to hold Luke’s penis. “See, he’s not worried at all.”

Responding to Han’s warm hand, that part of Luke indeed answered with a will of its own.

“I can make him feel even better,” Han promised. “Stay still.” He went down on his knees and touched Luke with his mouth. “Now how do you like it?”

Luke was startled, but the pleasure was so overwhelming that he couldn’t say anything, let alone protest. Han continued playing with him.

“Now I’m going to eat you alive,” he threatened, laughing. “Starting with this fine part of you.”

And he was as good as his word. Luke found himself making noises he’d had no idea he could make. Han seemed very pleased by every moan and whimper. And when Luke arrived at the point of crying out loud, Han knew that he’d done well. Luke collapsed on the pillow, gasping.

It was the first time that someone had pleasured him, yet he had fragmented memories of being in bed with Han, spending whole days in the house together, wrestling on the bed, laughing, making love. _That’s what he dreamed for me_ , he thought, _and this is real now. He took me into his mouth_.

“And that was just the appetizer, baby,” Han whispered, winking at him. “Now, we’re going to have something to eat, I mean for real, some food, take a bit of a rest and see if my friend here is interested in a second round.”

The night was long and wonderful, just as Han had hoped it to be. The kid kept up with him beyond his wildest dreams, sensual and eager, eventually falling asleep in his arms. Han stretched out beside him, certain that their dreams on the Death Star had been more than just dreams, they were previews of the life the two of them could have together.

* * *

The morning was a nightmare. Han didn’t believe his ears when the sweet blond kid suddenly announced that he was packing.

“You’re going? Then go, and be damned. You’re crazy, chasing that dumb dream of yours! You’re giving up a good life for what, a chance to get killed?” Han shouted at the top of his lungs. “Gods, I should beat some sense into you!”

“Come with me, if this is how you feel, if I’m so important for you.”

“Don’t get delusions, it’s not that I’ve fallen in love with you or something, I just hate to see you throwing your life away for nothing.”

“Sure,” Luke said, smiling. “You don’t need me, you don’t really want me, gods forbid, you don’t feel a thing for me.”

Han slammed his fist against the bulkhead. “Damn your bloody insights. I want you, like I’ve never wanted anyone else, but that doesn’t mean I’m willing to die for you. Or to die with you.”

“Come on, be reasonable. We’re not going to fight the entire Imperial army right away. We’re just going to Dagobah to see some Jedi Master. You can change your mind later, if you want to. Think of it as a trip.”

Han banged at the bulkhead again. “I liked you better drugged. I ain’t going. You should stay right here where it’s safe. Where the hell did you get this idea about Dagobah? What the hell is that place?”

“I don’t know.” Luke shrugged. “Ben Kenobi’s ghost told me to go there.”

“When?”

“He was here yesterday.”

“Wait a minute, are you telling me you’ve seen a ghost?”

“Yes, when I took the verdex. He told me I need to meet this Jedi Master so he can remove a block from my mind, and then I’d be able to use the Force without the drug.”

“I can’t fucking cope with this, ghosts, Force, mind-block... I’m an average guy, I want a plain, good life, and you should stick to that. Kid, we have a good thing going.” Han turned to Luke and kissed him violently. “See, this is what we have. Damn, I’m crazy for you, and going by what you did all night you’re not exactly indifferent either.”

Luke returned the kiss with a soft touch of his mouth against Han’s lips. “No, I’m not indifferent, not at all. I know what you can give me. Not just the sex. The sex wouldn’t be this good if there wasn’t more to this... There’s more. I’m not giving you up. Not now, not later. You want this. I want this.”

“Yeah, you want this, I want this, and you can have it, right here.” Han tugged at Luke’s shirt, pulling it off over his head. “Right here, right now. Stay with me.”

Luke’s bare chest felt hot against Han’s body. “Come with me.”

It was a power play and both of them knew it. They fought to undress each other, both trying to make the other lose control, give up, give in. It was a violent struggle, explosive, overwhelming, neither of them willing to stop, cries of pleasure merged with angry curses as Han rolled onto his back, with the boy leaning triumphantly over him.

“You will come with me,” Luke whispered like an angel who has just discovered a power not born of heaven. “You don’t want to lose me, you stubborn Corellian. Life is short and dangerous, we can both die tomorrow, here on Yalda or anywhere else. Hey, if you’d remained an Imp pilot, you probably would’ve died already, in a battle over some planet you don’t give a damn about. Why are you so scared of dying for me, with me? Who knows, we might even stay alive, and we’ll have the pleasure of seeing each other going bald and senile.” He leaned down to kiss Han on the mouth.

Han reached up to hold him tighter. _Mother of Corell_ , he thought, _how can he have such silky skin... just to stroke his back is heaven_.

“Damn you to the seventh hell,” he said, pushing the boy away. “I’m going with you. You’ll be the death of me, I know.”

“Well, at least you’re not going to have an ugly death.” Luke grinned at him.

“That Jedi Shaman or whatever might not find me fit company for you,” Han said.

“In that case,” Luke sighed, “we’ll just have to tell him that I pick my own company... Now get dressed, we have to go. I don’t even know where Dagobah is.”

“Never heard of the place. I sure hope it’s far as all hells, a nice long trip to the far end of the Rim is just the kind of vacation we need.” Han was reluctant to let the kid go now that he had him naked in his arms, but he consoled himself that as soon as they were off-planet and on their way, they could continue making love until the bunk would break under them.

* * *

It was not to be. Dagobah did not appear on any of the star charts, and Luke had to take the rest of the verdex to conjure up directions from what Han classified as ‘the great Jedi abracadabra’. Luke wasn’t insulted, he understood perfectly that the Corellian was afraid of the mysteries that hovered between them. _I should be afraid of this too_ , he thought, but he wasn’t, he was ready to explore this power.

The trip was not long, but Luke was in bad shape by the time they arrived.

“This is no place to put a ship down,” Han complained. “The fog’s thick enough to blind the sensors, and according to the readouts, there’s nothing down there but swamp.”

“A few miles to the south,” Luke said, fighting back the nausea. “There’s some kind of clearing.”

Han worked on the landing. “That clearing’s no larger than an old coin. It’ll be a miracle to land there.” 

“Hey, you’re supposed to be an ace pilot,” Luke said, trying to smile.

When they finally left the ship and were standing on solid ground, Han was pretty satisfied with himself. “Fits like a glove,” he said. “Barely a yard to spare all around. Now, where to?”

“I don’t know.” Luke sighed. “It’s gone. I can’t feel anything.”

“Let’s hope the great Master will find you. Get back in the ship and try to sleep off the verdex. You look horrible.”

Luke nodded. “That’s how I feel. I think I’ll go to sleep, really.”

Han watched him go. He sat down on the ramp, listening to the odd noises of swamp creatures, wrinkling his nose at the smell of the dark green water. Every once in a while, huge shapes swept by, some flying overhead, some in the water. Han kept his blaster at hand just in case.

“Away put your weapon,” a voice commanded.

Han swirled to see a small greenish creature coming toward him. He kept the blaster pointed at it. “Do you know someone called Yoda?”

“Know Yoda, I do. You I know not,” the little man-thing answered. “You I expected not.”

“So who were you expecting?”

“The Skywalker. Sleeps he does. Soon, he will begin his training. Powerful Jedi he will be.”

Han made a face. “Don’t tell me that you are Yoda.”

“Yoda I am. Judge me by my size, yes?”

“I don’t judge you at all, but let me tell you one thing – you harm a hair on Luke’s head and I’ll have your hide for a carpet.”

The small being measured Han with a disapproving look. “You think his protector are you?”

“Is that a problem?” Han asked bellingerently.

“Skywalker needs no one. With me he stays. Leave you may.”

Han leaned against the ship, giving Yoda an arrogant stare. “I’m not leaving and you’d better get used to my face. Luke wanted me to come here with him. So I’m here. And here I stay.”

“Why?”

Han had had enough. If he wasn’t supposed to strangle the little monster, he could at least shock him. “Why? To satisfy his considerable sexual appetite. Someone’s gotta do it, and I don’t see you as a suitable candidate.”

Big round eyes stared at Han from below. “Skywalker is not chaste?”

“Not even remotely.” Han grinned. “Is that a requirement for Jedi knights?”

“The training is hard. He must remain chaste.”

“Sure.” Han nodded. “I bet he’ll do that.”

“Soon you will understand.”

 _When all blue hells melt down_ , Han thought. _The sooner we get out of here, the better. This place isn’t fit for a sane person_. He turned to the green creature. “You’re supposed to remove some kind of Force-block so Luke can use his magic. Get on with it, you’ve got no idea how sick that drug’s making him.”

“What drug?”

“He’s taking something to feel the Force – he had to, just to find this slimy mudhole!”

“Slimy mudhole? My home it is!”

“Congratulations,” Han said. “Now get into the ship, I’m sick of sitting out here. The smell of this lake is killing me.”

Yoda trotted up the ramp with amazing agility. Han followed him, the blaster still in his hand. _No man in his right mind wants to stay unarmed in the company of a shaman_ , he thought. _Any funny business and pointy ears is history. Oh, yeah, Skywalker is not chaste. What’s he supposed to be, a monk? What’d the bird-footed creature expect, a virgin, pure as fallen snow? Oh, hell, Luke’s been that, sorry, but he met me in the meantime_. Han grinned, remembering how the kid had leaned over him, angelic, yes, but thank you, no fallen snow, but warm silky flesh. _Considering that whatever he knows, he learned from me, I’d say the kid made tremendous progress right at the first lesson. A few more weeks and he’s going to give me pointers. Stars, but I’m lucky_.

Luke was still sleeping on the bunk, didn’t even stir when the little bird-footed creature marched up to him and touched him with his clawed hands. The boy woke up then, looking perfectly healthy.

“Healed him, I did,” Yoda said.

“You are Yoda?” Luke asked. “Ben Kenobi sent me.”

“I know.” Yoda nodded solemnly. “First I free you to use the Force, then to use it you learn. When finished your training is, your companion may return.”

“Return?” Han grinned. “I can’t return.”

Luke was startled. “Why?”

“Why? ‘Cause only those who leave can return, kid. And I’m not going anywhere.” He stood there like a rock, hands on his hips, grinning down at the little Jedi Master.

Yoda looked up at him with luminous eyes. “It is in Skywalker’s best interest that now you leave. You understand and now you leave.”

Han felt every word inside his skull. “What the hell are you trying to do? Mess with my mind? Quit it right now.”

“Strong will you have,” Yoda said. “But you still must go. Skywalker has to concentrate on his training. Distraction you are.”

Han turned to Luke. “You decide.”

“How long can this take?” Luke asked. “A week? A month? A year?”

“Four, five months,” Yoda answered. “Only if you complete your training can you defeat Darth Vader.”

“I have to defeat Darth Vader?” Luke gasped.

“And the Emperor,” Yoda nodded gravely. “You are strong in the Force, you are our only hope.”

“Cut the crap,” Han growled. “You’re trying to drive him crazy with this. I’d better stay and watch over him. What do you want, you want to take out Vader? You don’t need a sorcerer for that, you need an assassin. Or a pilot. Hey, with a half-decent fighter I can blow his shuttle to pieces. A good, fast ship, a first-class gun and anything can be gone in a second. Vader’s a good pilot, but he’s too high-ranking to fly his own ship nowadays. You want Vader gone, I’ll make him gone. Just lay off my boy here. And believe me, as an ex-Imperial officer, I can tell you that once Vader’s gone, the Emperor is useless. He’s old and feeble, Vader is the real power in the Empire.”

Luke was wondering if Han meant even one word of what he said, apart from Yoda laying off ‘his boy’. But Yoda looked convinced. _A Jedi Master_ , Luke thought, _would be able to tell if someone lies to him. Han must be serious. Is he really such a great pilot? He does look splendid, standing here like he owns the entire galaxy_.

“Do it then,” Yoda said softly. “I’ll guide you to the Alliance, they’ll find you a fighter that’d serve you well. Go, and return when Vader is dead.”

Luke turned very pale suddenly. _He’s sending Han away to die_ , he thought, cold dread clawing at his heart. _Even if Han can kill Vader in space, he’ll be hunted down and killed for it. I’m going to learn all I can_ , he vowed, _as fast as I can, I’ll be a Jedi and if I’m really that strong, I’m going to end this_.

“Han will leave,” Luke said. “Just let me spend this night with him. In the morning, we can begin my training.”

Yoda sighed and left them. “Remember. Back in the morning I come.”

When they were alone, Han smiled at Luke. “I wasn’t bragging, you know, I was trained for this kind of mission. Give me a good ship and I can take out anything.”

“But they’re going to hunt you down. I want to become a Jedi as fast as possible, then I can help you get away. Wait a couple of months before you try this.”

Han smiled, unconcerned. “Of course I’ll wait a couple of months, it takes a while to figure out the right time, the right place. Now just get him to remove that Force whatnot from your brain or whatever body part a Jedi uses to do magic. Don’t worry, kid, I’m going to be very careful. I have every intention to watch you grow old and feeble. But before that happens, like right now, I want to have you on that bunk as often as possible. Feel up to it?”

“Yes.” Luke smiled back. “He really healed me. I want to learn to do that, too.” He began to undress. “You are a distraction, just as Yoda said. I have no intention of giving you up.”

“Good, ‘cause you can’t. I’m not giving _you_ up.”

For the rest of the night, Han buried every other thought. It was enough to hold Luke, feel how the kid grew more confident and inventive, and they were both driving each other deeper into pleasure. _A dream come real_ , Han thought, _if only life wouldn’t get in the way_. 

“I’m going to miss you,” he told Luke in the morning.

“You shouldn’t go, it’s crazy to try and kill Vader! Even if the Rebels give you a good ship, that very ship will betray you, you won’t be able to get within a lightyear of Vader,” Luke said, looking worried. “Don’t you dare to die on me!”

“I’m not crazy, kid, you think I’d really use a Rebel ship? I let the birdfoot talk all he wants, but I’ll do this my way. If I’m going to do it at all. I promise I won’t unless I’m sure I can get away with it. I don’t want to die now that I have you. Remember, it’s you, not the Rebellion, not the Jedi, I care for. All I want is to see you healthy and free of this crooked magic.” Han embraced him tightly. “For all I care, the Rebels can win or lose, I want to settle down with you. Don’t let this little monster mess with your mind, baby.”

“Baby?” Luke’s mouth fell open. “All right, honeybunch, I’ll take care of myself.”

Han laughed, the kid was no more a baby than he himself was honeybunch... “Okay, okay, this doesn’t work. But I’m not leaving ‘til birdfoot removes the block from your brain.” He glanced at the sensors. “Here he comes now.”

Yoda arrived in moments. Han watched him like a hawk as the little Jedi Master sat down with Luke on the ship’s floor and did absolutely nothing but stare at him. Luke’s eyes widened, he shuddered once and remained very still for a while. Then he looked up at Han and his eyes were very bright.

“I do mean everything to you,” he said. “I can feel it.”

“I think I said that.” Han laughed softly. “So now you’re going to read my mind all the time? Oh, the hell with it, I’ll survive. Just say goodbye to me, and I’ll be off to make good use of _my_ training.”

“Be careful,” Luke said. “I want you back.”

Han wasn’t happy at all. He didn’t trust the Jedi Master. He listened when Yoda explained how he could contact the Alliance, what to tell them to gain their trust, who to talk to. He had no intention of going to the Rebels. His plans were already made.

 _Crazy_ , he thought, _to go and kill Vader, but I can do it much safer, faster than Luke... How would Luke get close to Vader at all, without getting himself killed before he can draw a blaster? And that old guy Vader killed on the Death Star was supposed to be a Jedi knight, experienced as all hell, and Vader cut him down just fine. Me, all I have to do is find out when Vader’s using his shuttle and hit it with a good shot. It probably has good shields, but there are guns for every shield_.

After all, hadn’t he received the best training for just such missions? _It should be easy, safe and fast. Then back to the kid. And if I find out that birdfoot messed with his mind, Jedi Master or not, I’m going to put a very large hole into him, large enough for all the Jedi bullshit to leak out_. Han put all this into his parting look at Yoda.

“Fear not for Skywalker,” the Jedi Master said. “Fear not. Vader you kill.”

“You know, if I’d do this for any of Vader’s enemies within the Empire, I’d walk away with a few million credits,” Han growled.

“You ask for more than that,” Yoda answered. “You want Skywalker. More than credits he is worth.”

Han didn’t argue with this. He watched Luke and Yoda walk away among the twisted trees into the fog.

* * *

Four weeks later, Han was alone in the cockpit of a very small and very well-armed pirate ship, slowly orbiting a medium-sized asteroid. Everything had felt much like a nightmare since he’d left Dagobah, because he couldn’t take his mind off Luke and what that undersized Jedi Master would do to the kid while he was gone. One more reason to get the job done fast – and things didn’t really look too bad.

With the sale of the goods on the Falcon, he could easily afford the rental of the small fighter. Getting a few good leads on Vader’s schedule had taken a while, but it wasn’t impossible. Han’s inside knowledge of the Imperial fleet had helped to determine what flight routes Vader would use. And now, the Death Star hung far above him, but Han was waiting for Vader’s shuttle to pass by, en route to the star system below. His weapons were ready. He was ready.

 _Anything_ , he thought, _to make sure Luke won’t be dragged into something that’d surely be the death of him_.

The shuttle arrived on schedule as he’d expected. Waiting, Han hovered behind the asteroid until the last moment, and even then he was half-covered when he fired the first shot. The shuttle’s shields absorbed that one, and two shots were aimed at him. Both of them missed.

Han’s second shot damaged the shields badly enough to make the third one count. The shuttle kept firing at him, but his small fighter was a dream to fly, besides, he was good, and that he could say without bragging.

His fourth shot crippled the shuttle, his fifth and last one finally sent it to oblivion. The explosion was larger than he’d expected, the waves of energy slamming his fighter against the asteroid. For a moment Han was sure he’d die here, but the damage his ship took wasn’t serious.

By then, a swarm of TIE fighters sped towards him, responding to the destruction of Vader’s shuttle. He had to get out of there, keeping the asteroid between himself and the TIEs until he could make the jump to lightspeed.

Han had the Falcon waiting for him at the shipyard where he’d rented the little fighter. He could almost see Luke’s face when he arrived to report that he’d done it. Perhaps even birdfoot would be impressed. After all, it was a beautiful job.

 _I don’t fuckin’ believe it_ , Han thought, _I’ve gone and killed Darth Vader and it wasn’t even difficult_.

* * *

It continued to be easy. He was back at the shipyard, a large and very illegal operation where nobody ever asked names and only cash exchanged hands. Han didn’t care, he was a fugitive anyway. Even if someone ratted on him, it wouldn’t make a difference. The Falcon took him back to Dagobah without a hitch.

He found the place where he’d landed before. Only when he left the Falcon did he realize that he had no idea where to find Luke. The fog was thick, the trees looked odd, and the lake was dark. Han walked around for a while, blaster drawn. Large birds flew by on leathery wings. He’d felt no fear when he’d been shooting at Vader’s shuttle, but he was very uneasy now.

What if the Jedi Master had decided to take Luke somewhere else, thinking that he’d never return? Han wondered. He tried to call out and got no answer. It was getting darker. He had to use his flashlight just to see where he was stepping. Strange creatures cried somewhere nearby.

Eventually, Han smelled smoke and among the huge trees saw the yellow flicker of light. Heading towards it, he sank hip-deep into swamp water, but he walked on.

The little hut surprised him. He’d expected something a little more impressive. Peeking in through the small window, he saw Yoda stirring something over the fire. Luke, tired and muddy, sat cross-legged in the corner. The relief Han felt was overwhelming.

“I’m back,” he announced, bending double to get through the door. Luke jumped to his feet and nearly cracked his skull on the low ceiling. Yoda turned around.

“Accomplished your task, I know,” he said.

Han nodded, very modestly, but a wide grin spread on his face. “It was easy.” Drawing Luke closer, he knew that he’d never been happier. Luke said nothing, just remained quiet in Han’s embrace. “Kid,” Han sighed. “You’re tired. What is he making you do?”

“He’s trying to kill me.” Luke smiled. “Now I know why he wants me chaste. Every bone in my body hurts. He drives me to exhaustion and feeds me snakes. Actually, they are quite tasty.”

“How soon can we get out of here?” Han asked.

“Soon enough,” Luke said. “Soon enough. Now nothing is really important. Vader’s gone, and now my training is meaningless.” He glanced at Yoda for confirmation.

“The last of the Jedi you are,” Yoda warned. “You must finish your training.”

“Why?” Luke asked. “Kenobi said I must fight Vader. No Vader, no fight.”

“The Empire is still strong, the Rebels need you,” Yoda told him.

“Lay off him!” Han snarled. “I’ve done what you wanted, now I say it’s enough. What do you want, an all-out Rebel victory served on a silver platter?”

“He must finish his training.” Yoda insisted. “Not long it will be.”

Han thought that he could live with one more day on Dagobah, but not much more. He wondered if Luke could think in his head now.

_How about the chastity business, kid?_

_Wait until later, and we’ll see_.

_Birdfoot’s going to sleep between us. What is he teaching you?_

_He wants me to levitate things. I bet he’ll ask me to fly next_.

_Are you going to join the Rebels?_

_Are you going to drive me nuts if I do?_

_Are_ you _going to drive_ me _nuts if you don’t?_

 _I don’t think you really care as long as we have a bed to share_.

 _This mind-reading stuff’s a real pain, you know that? Gives you an unfair advantage_.

 _No, it only makes us even. You have an unfair advantage too_.

_Yeah, and what’s that?_

_You can make me want you just by standing there. You know, Yoda’s right about it – with you around, I’m not going to be much of a Jedi knight_.

Han grinned at that. What did he care where they went, what they did, as long as they were together. So what if they joined the Rebellion, so what if they joined a monastery, he’d still have Luke. Just looking at the kid’s blond hair, shining in the light of the small lamp, made him feel rich, lucky and free. And hard. Gods, if he told those Rebels that it was him who’d blown Vader to pieces, they’d surely appreciate him. _Damn, I’m good_ , he thought.

The little Jedi Master gave Han a nasty look that pointedly centered on the hard bulge in his pants. Han leaned back against the wall, to allow a better look.

 _That’s not a lightsaber_.

 _Show some respect for Master Yoda_ , Luke sent his silent message.

 _Not until he learns to leave us alone for the night_.

 _He’s right, I can’t concentrate with you here_.

 _Oh, you can concentrate fine, just not on his mysterious stuff_.

 _You want me to lose control and go outside with you_.

_You still wearing that small black thing underneath?_

_You’re getting really good at this mental communication. Stop it!_

_I’m opening the fasteners of your pants, I’m peeling off that little underthing – don’t try to pretend you’re not hard, I could make you come right here and now just by touching you_.

 _We’re not alone_.

 _Come outside, I don’t mind getting muddy_.

 _He’ll know what we’re doing just as if we were doing it right here_.

 _You think I care? Then let’s go to the Falcon, at least there you can sleep on a bed that was made for a human being instead of a three-foot tall whatever he is_.

Luke gave up at this point, as he understood that the man of his dreams was not yielding. _If he doesn’t give in, I’ll have to_ , he thought, _we can’t both be stubborn at the same time_.

“I’ll return in the morning,” he told Yoda.

Han was already marching through the wet trees, whistling in the dark. He stopped suddenly, deliberately making Luke stumble against him.

“Oops,” he said, pulling Luke closer. “I think I deserve a kiss for blowing up Darth Vader, don’t you?”

“We’ll never get to the ship at this rate,” Luke protested. “Just a kiss.”

It wasn’t enough, and Luke knew it. He was burning up, his entire body screamed for Han’s caresses. The kiss was sheer torture.

 _We don’t make love_ , Luke thought, _this is war. He’s going to do it, he’s going to make me lose control, just to prove that he can. And I’m begging for it. If he can do it to me, I can do it to him. Let’s see who’s going to cry out first_.

His hand slid down Han’s body, roughly fastening on his hardness. As Han cried out with pleasure, Luke felt his own uncontrolled orgasm. _If this is a war, then we’ve both won it_ , he thought, dazed with the power of their mutual attraction.

“Kid, you’re driving me crazy,” Han groaned. “Take off your clothes, now.”

“It’s dark, you won’t see anything.”

“Just take them off. Every single piece, boots and all.”

Luke undressed in the darkness. “Done, now what are you getting out of it? You can’t see.” 

Han flicked on the flashlight and slowly, very slowly, illuminated Luke. The tanned, slender body glowed in the circle of light that was sweeping up and down, as if Han were making love to him with the light, walking around him, so that he wouldn’t miss anything, front, back, sides. Against the darkness of the night, the illuminated body shone with the beauty of youth.

“This is beautiful,” Han said, awed. “Never seen anything like this.”

“Would you give me that and undress, so I can have the same experience?”

Han obliged without protest. Luke centered the light on Han’s face first, playing with the angle of the beam, learning each line of Han’s body as it was freed from the clothes.

“This was for the eyes,” Han said. “Now turn off that light, and we’re going to have a feast for the fingertips and the mouth. No looking. Just touch.”

“Where do those ideas come from?”

“I don’t know. I’m not thinking with my head.”

The light went out, and they were enclosed in the damp darkness. Neither of them spoke as the mental link between them became more natural than talking. Luke could feel the touch of his own hand on Han’s body, as clearly as Han felt how his caresses aroused him. In the dark, without their sight, it was as if they had only one body.

 _I’ll never leave you_.

 _You want to join the Rebellion – I’ll go with you. I just don’t know how I’m ever gonna live among people again. I’d resent every second we have to spend with anything else but making love_.

 _We’ll try to control our impulses. If we must_.

 _Thanks – for that ‘if we must’. Not now, now I want to be inside you_.

* * *

Muddy and tired, Han trudged back to the hut in the morning, his whole body humming with satisfaction. In the floating fog, Luke’s blond hair gleamed like candlelight as he went ahead, moving with unearthly speed and grace among the gnarled roots.

Yoda awaited them. “It is time now for you to the Rebellion join.” He held a lightsaber out to Luke. “Keep this you can. Mine it was a long time ago. Need it I don’t anymore.”

“Thank you, Master,” Luke said.

Han wondered if he meant the saber or the permisson to leave – _permisson, my foot, it’s an order to join the Rebels_. Looking down at the small wrinkled face of the ancient creature, Han thought he didn’t see as much disapproval as before. _I must be hallucinating_ , he thought.

The fog had lifted by the time they reached the ship.

“We need a shower,” Han said. “And clean clothes. Where are we going?”

“Yavin. I remembered all that when the mind-block was removed. I even have a password to give the Rebels, that’ll keep them from blowing us up before we can land. But I don’t know how far they’re going to trust us, I don’t know anybody there.”

“We’ll see. Maybe you’re going to hate the whole bunch, and we’ll just turn around and leave.”

Luke laughed at that. “Not very likely.”

“Was I just dreaming, or did Yoda look at me without the same kind of disgust as before?”

“I didn’t notice. Maybe he was just resigned to the fact that I’m not going to be chaste.”

* * *

En route to Yavin, Han looked through the remaining clothes again, this time trying to find something suitable to wear when they arrived at the Rebel base.

“Are you sure your ancestors weren’t chameleons?” Luke asked him. “You change identities so easily.”

“It helps. Not much here that’d make us look respectable, mind you. If I can find a white shirt for you, I’ll be happy. There’s one that fits me, and – hey, there’s a blue one. Might be a little too large for you, but it’ll look nice with your eyes. Come here, let’s try it on.”

“Just throw it at me. I don’t think you’ll stop at trying on shirts if I get any closer.”

“We still have almost a whole day before we get there,” Han pointed out. “Are you worried?”

“Some. I’m not used to meeting people.” Luke caught the blue shirt and put it on. “I don’t know what to tell them. Hey, guys, do you need a beginner Jedi?”

“We’ll see – if you’re shy, just let me talk.”

“You always know what to say?”

Han thought about it for a moment. “Yeah, sure.”

“What if it isn’t the right thing to say?”

“You think there’s always a right thing to say? Just how many people have you met in your entire life?”

Luke sat down and started to count. “My uncle, my aunt, a couple of farmers and their kids in the neighborhood, the teacher who came down for a few months to give us some schooling, two or three merchants at the local station, Kenobi, the Falcon’s owner, you, the interrogators on the Death Star, and Yoda... and those people on Yalda.”

Han was shocked. “You mean you’ve actually talked to maybe, what, thirty or forty people in your whole life?”

“Is that so unusual?”

“I’d say it is. Not that I can’t imagine people living this way, in some godsforsaken place, but it’s not what they consider normal.”

 _That’s going to change_ , Luke thought. _Maybe one day I’ll be just as confident as Han, or perhaps I’ll be a reserved, calm, dignified Jedi knight, and let Han do the talking_. He looked at his own reflection in the cockpit window and decided that he didn’t look dignified at all. The shirt was too large, sliding off his shoulder, his hair was too long, falling into his eyes.

“Like what you see?” Han asked, coming up behind him.

“Not really, I look too young and... sort of—”

“Sort of gorgeous, that’s what you look like.”

Luke checked his reflection again, this time with Han’s image completing the picture. “This is what they see when they look at us?”

“Yeah, and I think they’ll die of envy.”

* * *

_Thank the fates for this ship_ , Han thought a month later, stretched out on the bed in his cabin, with Luke sleeping in his arms. Without the Falcon, they’d have to share accommodations with all the Rebel soldiers and sleep on bunks in a huge dormitory.

Everything had worked out fine, he had to admit that. They’d been well received, the kid was almost worshipped for being a Jedi, and when the Rebel Command verified that it was Han who’d blown up Vader’s shuttle, his reputation earned him more than respect. He was made commander, and an entire assault squad was placed under him.

Han was worried at first that all this might change things between them, but nothing like that had happened. During the day, Luke spent most of his time with the leaders of the Alliance, talking politics, that Han was sure the kid knew nothing about, but they wanted his Jedi insight. While Luke sat in on meetings, Han trained young pilots to fly the fighters and briefed Rebel intelligence agents on Imperial procedures. He had fun with that, and if all went well, in a year or so, he thought he’d make a general. Luke joined the pilot training whenever he had the time, and Han was proud to say that the kid had great potential as a pilot. But they both lived in the ship, spending their free time together. It was never enough, their free time, the passion between them never subsided.

 

Luke woke up with a start that night. His back was pressed against a cold wall, his hands manacled. As he opened his eyes, he saw Han’s lifeless body chained to the opposite wall.

“It’s all over now, little Jedi,” Darth Vader said. “I extracted every bit of knowledge you possessed. Pity your besotted floor-polisher, whose erotic fantasies gave me the idea to try this way to get to you, didn’t survive the process. You are made of stronger material. It was quite lovely to see all the romantic passion the two of you generated. He had a rather vivid imagination, your adventures were very entertaining. You didn’t need much prodding to create a whole life for yourselves, and I must admit that the escape he devised could have worked, but blowing my shuttle to pieces, indeed, now that was a bit too much. He had potential, but to think he could kill me that easily was ridiculous.

“Nevertheless, his dreams and yours combined led me to the Rebel base, even allowed me to say the password you wouldn’t tell me under the mind-probe or any torture. Well, what drugs and pain didn’t make you reveal, you’ve given me with this illusion of love. I have no further use for you.”

Luke shook his head, feeling Han’s warm body beside him on the bed. “You are the illusion, Vader, a bad dream, nothing else. What Han and I have, you can’t even touch, let alone understand. You can’t seriously think that such passion can be killed. You are a dream, Vader, a rather bad one, a wisp of evil that can’t ever hurt us. Our happy life is safe from you and your kind. A life that you’ll never have – who’ll dream for you, Vader? Leave us. I pity your lonely existence.”

“If this is your choice, little Jedi, I won’t argue with your madness,” the Dark Lord said coldly as he turned to leave the cell.

The door slid shut behind him with a mechanical sound, but another noise commanded his attention, and he decided to go back, almost hoping that he’d see the little Jedi cry.

As the door opened again, Vader stared at two pairs of empty manacles hanging from the sterile walls.

 _Kid, wake up, you’re having a nightmare_.

 _Thanks – oh gods, it was horrible, I thought I was back on the Death Star, you were dead and Vader was there_.

 _I’m not surprised, after the celebration yesterday – you know, I think you had a bit too much of that homemade brandy the pilots concocted. You got a headache? I can get you some fruit juice_.

 _That’d be nice, my head hurts and my stomach feels very queasy_.

Han got up and went to the galley, naked as he was, walking with the confident stride Luke adored so much. He came back with a glass of yellow fruit juice.

“Here, drink it up, and keep away from hard liquor in the future. I don’t want you having any more nightmares.”

Luke finished the juice, it was sweet and refreshing, banishing his headache. _No more nightmares_ – he smiled. “Come back to bed, we still have a whole hour before the morning briefing.”

Han grinned and lay down beside Luke, warm, happy and very much alive.

* * * * *

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: In the official biography, Han Solo joined the Imperial academy and was discharged again after a brief tenure because he’d liberated a Wookiee slave. In this story, Han’s court martial resulted in lesser punishment, and he remained in Imperial service.


End file.
